Where You Look Is Where You Go: The Power of Focus in Shaping Your Life

Welcome back to another exploration of fulfillment and creativity. In this conversation, we dive into one of the most fundamental principles that shapes our lives: where we place our focus determines where we end up going.

The Mountain Biker’s Lesson

Picture this: you’re mountain biking down a trail, navigating rocks, roots, and sudden drops. There’s a crucial principle every mountain biker learns—if you look directly down at what you’re going over, you’re going to fall. If you look back, you’re going to fall. You have to look forward, not too far ahead, but just at what’s in front of you. This gives you direction and allows you to move safely.

The same principle applies to surfing. You can’t afford to focus on obstacles for too long. You need to notice they’re there, but if you keep focusing on that obstacle, you’re going to hit it and probably fall over.

The Race Car Driver’s Wisdom

This isn’t just limited to action sports. In race car driving, when you’re going at really high speeds around corners, there’s a natural human tendency that emerges: when we see danger, we look at the danger. New racers, when they’re about to crash into a wall, find themselves staring at that wall. But one of the biggest lessons they teach is this: don’t look at the wall, look at where you want to go in order to not crash.

We have this tendency to look at where we don’t want to go and focus on where we don’t want to go. And as a result, we’re more likely to go in that direction. We use our eyes as navigation mechanisms. When we’re looking in a certain direction, our head turns in that direction, and our bodies and what we’re doing also divert to that direction. It’s very important to control where you’re putting your focus.

Where Focus Goes, Energy Flows

There’s a saying that captures this perfectly: where focus goes, energy flows. Whatever your mind is occupied with becomes who you are eventually. And who you are shapes the life you lead. In that sense, it’s extremely important to control what’s constantly in our minds and what we’re constantly focusing on, because whatever that thing is, our energies will divert to that direction.

Many people focus on the past and the present, but looking forward—not too far forward, but just what’s in front of you—can give you that direction and allow you to move.

Why This Isn’t Always Easy

We all have tendencies. The human mind tends toward looking at negative things—we rubberneck at accidents on the road, causing traffic. But this conversation is worth having because a lot of people might not be doing this consciously.

When you’re doing an action sport like mountain biking, you can’t afford to look at that root on the ground for too long. You need to notice that it’s there, but if you just keep focusing on that obstacle, you’re going to hit it and probably fall over. In mountain biking, part of you knows that if you don’t stay vigilant and keep looking where you’re going, and not get stuck on one thing, then you’re going to fall.

But in daily life, it might not be that straightforward. The immediate consequences aren’t as obvious.

Recognizing the Pattern

We can all get caught up in our heads, ruminate on certain things. Certain things affect us in certain ways and have an emotional impact on us, shaping the way we’re thinking about a certain situation. So it’s important to know techniques that can interrupt that pattern.

But before getting into techniques, the first step is recognizing the pattern and recognizing that you are actually focusing on this thing. Maybe you don’t want to be focusing on that thing, or maybe focusing on that thing isn’t the best thing for the path you want to walk.

Recognition is important because we often do it without knowing we’re doing it. That person learning to race cars doesn’t consciously realize, “Oh, I am focusing on the wall, and that’s what’s leading me to the wall.” Having that recognition that your focus is actually controlling your direction is very important.

This goes back to listening to yourself, your body, and your reactions to things, and how you respond. It’s important to notice these things about yourself because to first change it, you have to recognize that it’s happening.

The Body-Mind Connection

What many people don’t realize is that the best place to start changing your focus is physiological, not merely mental. We try to think our way out of a lot of things, and we might not realize how much our body is impacting the way we’re thinking.

When certain things happen and our emotions race, our heart rate increases, our breathing changes—yes, there’s something mental that’s having an impact on your physiology. But also, the physiology is a powerful way to control what’s happening in the mind as well.

Something as simple as changing your breathing pattern can have vast amounts of impact on your heart rate, on the neurochemicals that are released, and on how much adrenaline is being released versus other types of hormones. Slowing the breath can help us control our state.

You have to start with your state. What state are you in? Are you in a state where you can have more control over yourself? Or are you in a hyperactive fight-or-flight state? If you’re in a fight-or-flight state, it’s hard to say, “Okay, let me do this instead.” We lose awareness when we’re in those kinds of states, and then we have no control.

Why We Can’t Think Our Way Out

Modern society is so disconnected from our bodies, but our bodies profoundly affect our thoughts. As people get more aware and listen to their bodies more, they start to observe their minds more. And when you observe your mind, you observe it in different states—when you’re exercising, when you’re about to fall asleep, first thing in the morning. Your thought patterns might be similar each morning because you’re just waking up and that’s a certain state.

The state of your mind after you exercise is completely different from before you started exercising. That plays a huge role. Once you know this firsthand—once you watch your own mind—the techniques make so much sense. Going for a run in the morning to completely calm your mental state will help you move your thoughts in the direction that you want them to.

We try to think our way out of things, but the thing is, we’re trying to think our way out of thinking a certain way, which doesn’t work. You can’t think a different way by fighting it with more thoughts.

Practical Techniques for Shifting Focus

It takes time to know ourselves well enough—observing yourself for a while to recognize, “Okay, I’m falling into this pattern. I need to do this.” When your thoughts aren’t very kind, your body also might not be feeling good. So what do you need to do?

Breathing exercises can be powerful. Breathing deeply for a couple of minutes can change your state. Meditation—even just five minutes first thing in the morning or in the middle of the day—can be profound in its effects. It allows you to observe yourself. You’re not trying to control your thoughts, you’re just watching them. And in that watching, you get better at recognizing when you’re starting to go down a path you don’t want to go down.

Movement and exercise are crucial. They completely shift your physiological state, which in turn shifts your mental state.

Journaling allows you to reflect on where your focus has been and where you want it to be. The act of writing can help interrupt unhelpful thought patterns.

The point is to create these interruptions—these pattern breaks—that allow you to redirect your focus.

The Power of Reframing: Learning from Failure

One powerful way to shift focus is through reframing. Take the concept of failure, for instance. The word “failure” carries such heavy baggage in our society. But what if we changed our relationship with this word?

There are two ways to reframe something: you can change what the word means to you and how it feels to you, or you can substitute it with different words that change your experience.

In Jamaica, Rasta culture does this intentionally. Rasta talk is considered a dialect where words are changed based on their connotations. Instead of saying “I and you,” Rastas say “I and I,” emphasizing unity. Instead of “banana,” they might say “I-nana” because the prefix “ban” has negative connotations. Instead of “understand”—which implies being under something—they say “overstand,” suggesting you’re above it, that you have a grasp on the concept.

They change words based on connotation, and it’s ingrained in the whole culture and ideology. It’s a prime example of how you can change the words you use and reframe certain things to pivot your focus toward things that are more positive or that align with your particular values.

How Language Shapes Reality

This gets into how language shapes our minds. The stories we tell shape our minds. The stories we tell shape what we focus on. The words we use, the language we use, shapes our mind.

Someone who talks in Rasta talk versus someone who talks in Spanish will have two different perceptions. Even how they see a banana might be different. This shows how powerful stories and language are in framing how we see things, and the profound effect these things can have on our lives.

The takeaway is that words, stories—all these things—can be tools you use to shift how you think, how you live, and the quality of your life.

Language is a powerful thing. The language you use dictates the story you’re telling yourself—how you think about the things you’re saying, how you think about the landscape you’re seeing. It’s going to dictate how you live, and it’s going to dictate where you put your energy. What you’re focusing on dictates where you’re going.

This is how powerful language is. It can influence how millions of people see an event. It shapes history and propaganda—governments and institutions take advantage of this by telling stories that might not be true to get people to have certain attitudes toward certain people and divide them.

Why This Matters for Fulfillment

This is why we do this work—to shift more focus to fulfillment, to the pursuit of fulfillment, creativity, and these kinds of things. By repeating these ideas, we hope to have more people divert their attention and put it toward what would make them fulfilled.

Very important to divert that focus to where you want it to be, and to learn different techniques on how to divert that focus. It’s important to keep the journey going, to recognize that the direction we’re moving in matters, and that our focus is the steering wheel.

Questions for Reflection

As you go about your day and your life, ponder these questions:

Where are you focused now? And where do you want to be focused?

How has failure taught you?

What story are you telling yourself about the current activity you’re doing right now?

Just notice what story you might be telling yourself. Stories are powerful. Very powerful.

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Thank you for being part of this exploration. May your focus guide you toward fulfillment, and may you look toward where you truly want to go.

Godspeed.